i want so badly to break something in this apartment. but i can’t, because it isn’t mine. and i want to shove a shunt in my chest so that i can breathe correctly. and not heave. but i don’t have one. i want my body to dehydrate more quickly so that i can stop crying, especially when i know that i brought it on myself this time. no one likes reading these things, no one wants to hear these kinds of stories. please skip this, because i’m so desperate for catharsis that i’m willing to look anywhere and try anything to find it. it’s so ugly and it’s so unbearable. i feel so pathetic and so powerless and so short for words and i want to delete everything in this entry because it appears so weak and self absorbed. everyone has been through this, i am not the first. i’m sorry if you got this far.
:( I’m always an ear if you need it.
