I want to cry, because i feel like that would make a lot of the things I’m feeling either go away, or be a little bit better in the morning.
I want my friends that are away to come back, and I don’t want to have problems with them. I want them to be more mature about things, and I want overthink things less.
I want to move into my new house, and I wish I could take my goddamned cat with me or leave him here where he would be happy.
I want class to be over so I can stop dealing with people who are incompetant, or absent, or completely sophomoric about every facet of their lives. And I don’t think I’ve ever used that word any better than I have right now, to describe these imbiciles.
I want to go on this family vacation without any fighting, which I know is impossible, and that makes me want to punch something; knowing that it’s inevitable that I will say something to hurt my mom’s feelings without quite knowing what I did, or that she will treat me in a way that I’m not used to because I’ve been living on my own, and it will be this constant backlash between the two of us. I will try so hard not to start anything, and it’ll happen anyways.
I want to find out how to make this goddamned website for my mamaw that she wants me to do, and I don’t have any TIME.
I want to be with people without any complications, and play in fields and take pictures of eachother attempting cartwheels and stare at the clouds while listening to a song that makes me cry. And I can’t, beacuse my school takes up so much time that fun has to be scheduled and enjoyment is regimented.
